Despite being the nation’s second city, Birmingham is often the butt of a lot of jokes. It’s hard to figure out why though. Brummies are a lovely lot – and the city is creative, diverse and full of history.
However, out of all of the worst things you could possibly say to someone from Birmingham, these are probably the worst of the worst.
West Midlands native Will Beach takes you through some definite no-nos. You have been warned!
1. Impersonating the accent
Well done, you’ve noticed the accent and now you’re impersonating it. You have probably made the decision to do so due to poor social skills. Literally nothing gets more annoying than not being able to say anything without it being repeated back to you in an over-the-top impersonation. Seriously: some people take it upon themselves to do this a lot. Just stop – you sound like Jasper Carrott trying to imitate Dory from Finding Nemo speaking whale.
2. Assume they’re unintelligent based on said accent
Yes, let’s be honest, the accent isn’t the most intellectually spurring dialect on the planet. In fact most Brummies would agree that it doesn’t matter how smartly you dress, or how well you present yourself, a lot of people will just assume they’re thick as soon as they open their mouths. Just like anywhere else though, this is just a mean-spirited misconception. Don’t forget that J.R.R. Tolkien was from Birmingham.
3. Accuse them of succumbing to Americanisms
We’ve got enough on our plates with the accent without you judging the words we use. Yes, we say “mom” rather than “mum”, making shopping on mother’s day a nightmare. Also a “faggot” is a pork dish, nothing to do with that vile American homophobic slur. Keep laughing about “faggots and peas” in the gay village and you might find yourself getting knocked down a peg or two by Birmingham’s most fabulous.
4. Get them confused with their neighbours
Any Brummie will be offended if you confuse them with their Black Country neighbours and vice versa. Few have called a Brummie a yam-yam and lived to tell the tale.
5. Force them to pick a side
Look, we’re not northern, and we’re certainly not southern. Just leave it.
6. Forgetting about Birmingham’s musical heritage
Birmingham and its surrounding areas have given us some of the biggest names in rock and heavy metal, from Black Sabbath to Judas Priest, from Led Zeppelin’s Robert Plant to Slade’s Noddy Holder. Yet no one seems to acknowledge this.
7. Thinking Birmingham does bad food
Good luck finding an authentic curry outside of Birmingham that is as cheap and delicious. Brum is also the birthplace of custard as we know it, something to mull over next time you’re tucking into a trifle. Finally, two words: Cadbury’s chocolate. You’re welcome, world.
8. Going on about that one time you went to the Bullring
Unless it was a genuinely eventful trip, we don’t care. Nor do we care about that time you went to Snobs. Or Cadbury World. Or the German Market.
9. Call Manchester the second city
Oh please! Don’t even entertain the idea.
Main Picture: Getty Images
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