If you’re over the age of 21, then I wager you’re just about done with the generic beers of modern day society. And sometimes, seeing the kind of amazing drinks our fictional counterparts have to savour is just jealousy-inducing.
As our special Beer Week gets into full-swing, here are seven mouthwatering ales from the worlds of movies, TV and video games we’d love to get our lips around.
Butterbeer from Harry Potter
It just sounds amazing, doesn’t it? We know that it can’t be very, if at all, alcoholic, as the characters buy it from a young age. Then again, the wizarding world might just be incredibly liberal. Maybe Voldermort is just one really hungover guy that’s been drinking since the age of 11.
Anyway, I imagine Butterbeer would taste like a really sweet Guinness, and it would be served in a magical goblet made of ivory that sings to “Bohemian Rapsody” to you while you drink. But that’s just me.
Leopard Lager from Red Dwarf
The legendary Leopard Lager’s somewhat tame 5.1% is nothing to be scoffed at – after all, it’s the only thing that can kill a vindaloo. Space-bum Dave Lister drank his fare share of the beverage throughout his time on the fictional mining ship, and the various hijinks he gets up to over the course of the show make me wonder if it is in fact the beer causing those adventures.
Always safe to have some of this in the fridge, should you ever get attacked by a giant sentient curry monster and need to shoot a can out of a bazookoid.
Heisler Beer from just about everything
The full list of TV shows that Heisler Beer has appeared in can be found on its Wiki page, but let me tell you, it is a lot. Used as a kind of insider-joke, generic name for beer in the film and TV industries, Heisler has me wondering what is actually in it? What makes it so sought after by so many sit-coms?
Maybe one sip immediately removes a human’s sense of humour, that would explain Brooklyn Nine Nine. Zing.
Benderbrau from Futurama
From the episode The Route of All Evil, this beer is brewed by Bender, Leela and Fry in the robot’s stomach after realising they don’t have any other decent beer to drink. It is christened Benderbrau, after Bender takes care of the keg as if it were his child.
Any beer that warrants that kind of affection has to be incredible. I bet it’s 50% proof, but tastes like Vanilla Coke and swims down your throat at a moderate pace.
Ents Draught from The Lord of the Rings
Although never specifically stated as a beer, there is much evidence to suggest that Tolkien intended this river-water-brewed substance to be thought of in that sense. It is mentioned that the Ents had to lie down to avoid the draught “going to their heads”. I think we all understand what Tolkien is getting at here.
Of course, the other noteworthy property of the Ents Draught is that, when Merry and Pippin drink it, they grow “between 2 and 3 inches”. So, if you fancied getting taller, just swig down a pint of this, and all of a sudden you’re 9 foot tall. Job done. Drink responsibly though – we don’t want an army of giants prancing around.
Alderaanian Ale from Star Wars
This extremely rare beverage from the planet Alderaan in the Star Wars universe was the fabled favourite drink of legendary cool-guy smuggler Han Solo. That alone is reason enough to want to try it, but it is also extremely rare and notoriously rich in taste.
Obviously, Alderaan being blown up in the fourth film probably made the natively grown ingredients slightly harder to obtain. But if Luke Skywalker is in a state of omnipotent control over a heavenly force, then I’m sure he can cook up some hops.
Grog from Monkey Island
Is it technically a beer, I hear you ask? The real question should be: is it technically anything? Not to be confused with real life grog (that would be far too normal) the Monkey Island Grog is composed of a long list of varyingly dangerous materials and the end result shows it. The dreaded green sludge has been shown to melt through metal tankards, and is often used by the player as an acid.
Sounds like it would surely kill you, I know, but within the canon of beloved video game classic Monkey Island there are countless pirates that drink it with (relatively) no discomfort. “The Grog Challenge! Can you take on the Grog and survive?” I mean, probably not, but it’d be good to give it a go.