Police respond to death threats – against ‘really big spider’
Home Alone spider

Police in Australia raced to the scene of an alleged domestic violence incident, only to find a man who was terrified by a “really big spider”.

Local residents described a disturbance at 2am on November 21 at a home in Wollstonecraft, North Sydney, with reports of hysterical screaming, and a man yelling “I’m going to kill you, you’re dead! Die die!”

The sounds of furniture being tossed about the building could also be heard.

But when police turned up to investigate the disruption, they were shocked to find a very different turn of events.

According to the Harbourside LAC police Facebook page, the following exchange took place when the resident answered his door:

Police: “Where’s your wife?”

Male: “Umm, I don’t have one.”

Police: “Where’s your girlfriend?”

Male: “Umm, I don’t have one.”

Police: “We had a report of a domestic and a woman screaming, where is she?”

Male: “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I live alone.”

Police: “Come on mate, people clearly heard you yelling you were going to kill her and furniture getting thrown around the unit.”

At this point the male became very sheepish.

Police: “Come on mate, what have you done to her?”

Male: “It was a spider”

Police “Sorry?”

Male: “It was a spider, a really big one!”

Police: “What about the woman screaming?”

Male: “Yeah, sorry. That was me; I really hate spiders.”

Remind anyone of this?

All in a day’s work for the Harbourside police force, whose Facebook page would suggest their picturesque, waterfront beat is thankfully one of the quieter patrols in the world.