Granted, the world of cinema didn’t exactly erupt when the inevitable news of the new Underworld movie broke, and at this point in the franchise’s life-span, we can’t blame you all for lacking a little motivation.
The fifth instalment of the blood-sucking saga, will be called Blood Wars – and although that title will probably make you internally cringe, we assure you that it’s killing us even more.
Having said all of this, we’re still adamant that the Underworld movies surpass all other vampiric movies, and here are out main arguments – hear us out.
Don’t ask us exactly where the vampires in Underworld originally came from, because the resulting speech we would have to give would take up too much time. The backstory to the franchise is seriously that deep, and despite only being able to remember a few of the main characters’ names, we still find ourselves interested in the titbits of lore meticulously scattered about the movie’s dialogue.
“Vampire Elders established the chain long ago, in some effort to prevent Marcus from being able to free his twin brother.”
I’m sorry, what? What does any of that even mean? Granted, this stuff is taken from the novelisation of Underworld (yes, there are books as well), but that should give you some kind of inclination as to the depth that the lore reaches.
Having access to this extensive backstory, and making a concious effort to force it into the script at any point possible, makes Underworld more than just a simple archaic action movie with plenty of pointy teeth – with clever story telling and a catalogue of grimoire to call on, the movie’s bedrock of complicated storylines, becomes very appealing – albeit long.
In fact, we’d say that the Underworld plot line, although interwoven with seemingly random character names every now and then, is the main reason we even watch the movies.
Seriously, go on the Underworld Wiki, and try to follow the events chronologically. We dare you.
The epic fight scenes
Don’t worry if you’re not too into epic backstories though, because Underworld has some impressively cool fight scenes, most of the time involving ancient swords with magic powers and celestially strong vampire lords with sticks up their… fangs.
The impressive action choreography is one thing that you can’t take away from the franchise. Even if vampires aren’t your thing, it’s easy to enjoy the simple pleasures of Underworld’s fight scenes, and if we’ve learnt anything about simple action movies, it’s that a cool scrap can go a long way (we’re looking at you, Captain America).
Sure, the editing is a little clunky, and at times, the moves can look slightly cheesy, but if you can’t enjoy Kate Beckinsale beating the hell out of a bunch of SWAT agents, or kicking seven shades out of a vampire elder-lord-super thing, then you need to re-evaluate your movie priorities.
Everyone loves a good beat-em-up scene, and Underworld has plenty- as long as you can suffer through the lovey-dovey make-out segments.
The acting talent
Michael Sheen? Bill Nighy? The aformentioned Kate Beckinsale? The list of established actors, much to the surprise of first-time Underworld-ers, goes on and on.
Whatever your opinion on the movie franchise, you have to admit that the acting roster is quite impressive – and in all fairness, they’re all quite good in it.
Sheen does a decent job as Lucian, Bill Nighy couldn’t have played Viktor any better, and Kate Beckinsale has managed to lift the franchise from total oblivion multiple times.
Now we’re not saying that it should be winning Oscars – because let’s face it, vampire movies suck – but as flesh gorging cinematic experiences go, Underworld definitely mops the floor with Twilight, and in this day and age, that’s all you really have to do to become and established fantasy movie series.
We’d like to see Edward Cullen whip out a century-old blade and start chopping into his enemies – oh but wait, he can’t, because his eyes just twinkle, or sparkle, or whatever pathetic verb Stephenie Meyer used to describe what should have been an ancient killing machine.