Ahh, Tinder. It’s hard to escape the infamous dating app if you’re single these days.
If you’re Tinder dating in Edinburgh, here are some important rules to remember so you can swipe right to the date of your dreams.
1. Don’t be alarmed if you recognise someone
Edinburgh is a small place, but you only start to realise how small once you download Tinder. Every other person will be someone you went to school with, your mate’s ex or even that guy you vaguely recognise because he works in your local Scotmid.
2. Be prepared to run into your ex
Leading on from rule number one, it’s also highly likely that you’ll have to swipe past your ex too. It might be tempting to swipe right just to see if they returned the favour, but it’s probably wise just to take a screenshot for your WhatsApp group chat then move swiftly on.
3. Judge people according to their choice of club photos
You can tell a lot about a person by their favourite club. If they’re the George Street type, look out for the sleek interior of Lulu or if they’re up for a more cheesy night out you’ll immediately recognise Cav’s light up dancefloor in the background of their photos.
4. And everyone will have a Hive photo
No matter who they are everyone on Tinder in Edinburgh will have at least one Hive photo. They might have strategically cropped it to get rid of the Hive logo, but there’s no fooling us – we’d recognise those lovely brown walls any day of the week.
5. Identify students by their gap year photos
Chances are, if you’re over the age of 22 then dating a student will just make you feel sad and old. Avoid arranging a Tinder date with a student by checking for “gap year photos” – posing with tigers, jumping on a beach in Thailand… you know the ones.
6. Tinder gets interesting during the Fringe
If you’re using Tinder for serious dating, it’s probably best to avoid the app during August. But if you’re up for a laugh, swiping during the Fringe will bring you everything from newbies promoting their one-man-show on their dating profile to mildly famous comedians looking for a local date.
7. Edinburgh natives are a rare breed
With so many tourists, students and business people in the city, the number of people on Tinder who are actually from Edinburgh is surprisingly low. Be sure to check that your new match isn’t just on holiday here for a week before you go ahead and plan your future together.
8. Make them plan your first date
Getting to know someone online can be a tricky business, so get them to suggest a perfect first date location to find out if you like the same places. Are you both the sort of people who love hip, underground cocktail bars like Panda & Sons, or do you prefer a chilled out date at the Dominion Cinema?
9. Watch out for rogue Glaswegians
Once you’ve swiped through everyone in Edinburgh, you might be tempted to widen your search radius a bit and see what Glasgow has to offer. The Glaswegians certainly know how to charm us with their cheeky chat up lines, but are you really ready for a long distance relationship? (Yes, an hour-long train journey counts as long distance in the world of Tinder).
10. Everyone has the same names
As you scroll through your list of matches, you’ll probably notice a lot of the same names cropping up again and again. Turns out, our parents weren’t very imaginative and most Scottish guys in their mid-twenties are called Calum, Ross, Andrew, Michael, Alex…
11. And most of them probably have a beard
It seems beards are the in thing these days and you can’t swipe for more than a few seconds without coming across a tattooed, bearded gent who almost certainly frequents Edinburgh’s trendiest barber shops. And, of course, they will tell you all about their beard in their bio – just in case you hadn’t noticed.
12. There will be some university rivalry
All the hotties go to Edinburgh university according to tinder
— opinionated imbecile (@Wheezie95) April 14, 2016
Finding out where someone went to school or university is always a big talking point when you first start dating. Thanks to Tinder, we can all easily see in someone’s profile whether they’re team Edinburgh University or team Napier (or, shhhh, one of the other unis).
13. You’ll have loads of mutual connections…
…but you probably still won’t have a clue who your match is. Somehow you have mutual friends from several different areas of your life and you won’t be able to work out how this person could possibly know them all.
14. Group photos are confusing
Yes, you all look lovely in your group photo from Opal Lounge the other night, but which one are you? If it takes more than 10 seconds to figure out which person’s profile you’re looking at, it’s probably best just to move on.
15. Be wary of super likes
You might take it as a compliment when you see a notification pop up saying “such and such has super liked you!”, but before you get too excited you should probably take a quick look at their profile. For some reason, the only people who actually use the super like function are always the complete opposite of your type.
16. You’ll probably run into your matches
I really hope that I bump into a tinder match in Edinburgh. I can only imagine how hilariously awkward it would be
— Cam Starbuck (@Coffeebeans18) December 30, 2015
If Edinburgh didn’t feel like a small enough place already, just give it a couple of months of Tindering and you’ll have had at least one experience of awkwardly running into a match in real life. Be prepared to cross the street just to avoid an embarrassing conversation about why you haven’t replied to their messages for weeks.
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Main image: Sean Munson / Flickr / CC