Five key moments that need to be in the Take That musical
take that

Never forget. Take That said it best.

Fronted by the ever exciting Gary Barlow, new BBC talent show Let It Shine aims to find the future stars of a brand new musical based on the career of Take That.

But hang on… a Take That musical?! That sounds far more exciting than the BBC show itself.

And while there are plenty of things the pop collective will no doubt want to celebrate in the show, here are five slightly more embarrassing moments from their past they should include to make it even more enticing (and authentic).

The dubious fashion choices

Sure, nowadays the band’s attire is smart in a you’d-take-these-boys-home-to-meet-your-Mum kind of way.

But back in the ’90s it was a different story.

Think up a random piece of offending garment from the decade, and there’s a good chance someone from Take That tried it on.

Don’t know about you, but we’d love to see a scene in the band’s formative years, as they set out their image and decide just what kind of fashion sense they’ll be promoting.

We’d love it mainly for the ham-fisted attempt to explain Howard Donald’s dreadlocks.

The time Robbie Williams left the band because it’s boring

Presumably, Williams’ first departure from the band will be given a bit of stage time, because how could it not? But it’ll be interesting to see just how much detail the final show will go in to.

For our money, we’d like to see it given just enough time to explain how he left, essentially out of boredom.

Robbie Williams Brit Awards

In early 1995, Williams’ partying habits had gotten out of hand, to the point where he was handed an ultimatum by the band: adhere to the group’s responsibilities or leave before their scheduled world tour. He chose the latter, claiming he was bored with Barlow’s leadership.

Cue dramatic on-stage mooning. Or something.

The teenage girls seeking counselling

Though the band carried on as best they could without Williams (and managed rather well, it has to be said), they did eventually split in February 1996.

If you thought One Direction calling a hiatus caused heartache for the country’s teenage girls, this was even worse.

take that fans

Telephone hotlines had to be set up by the Government to combat the floods of teenagers threatening suicide over the fact their favourite band would be no more, and tear-soaked fans lined the streets like a kind of depressed zombie horde.

What a West End spectacular that would be; thousands of weeping young adults flooding the stage, mascara streaming down their faces. Scary stuff.

The ‘aggressive’ tax avoidance

In May 2014, Barlow was accused of partaking in a tax avoidance scheme that was labelled as “aggressive”.

Some called for the singer to be stripped of his OBE.

gary-barlow

Barlow did eventually speak out on the matter, tweeting:

“I want to apologise to anyone who was offended by the tax stories earlier this year. With a new team of accountants, we are working to settle things with all parties involved ASAP.”

It’d make a pretty amazing scene, turning a story involving figures and accountants into an onstage witch-hunt through the medium of song and dance.

Cosying up to the royal family

gary barlow and the queen montage

In recent years, if there’s been anything to do with the Royal Family, you can be sure that Gary Barlow couldn’t have been far behind, whether appearing on The Queen’s list of her 10 favourite songs of all time, or penning an official song for the Commonwealth Games.

What we think would make a really great moment for the show, would be a scene in which Barlow’s Royal ties are explained in depth.

We’re not sure what one has to do to become so pally with Her Majesty, but in our head we can’t help but picture many an evening spent boozing it up in Buckingham palace, possibly to Take That’s own hits.

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