6 of Karl Pilkington’s most epic moans
Karl Pilkinton

The excitement for the newly announced season of Karl Pilkington’s The Moaning of Life will surely stretch much further than his hometown of Sale, Greater Manchester, as his loveable pragmatism catapulted him to stardom many years ago.

I’ll hear no bad word said about this man; he is hilarious and philosophical beyond all measure. I would live my life by the principles that Karl has set out, if I didn’t value my career so much.

Anyway, in celebration of Karl’s new series, here are his best, most entertaining, thought-provoking moans.

Helmet safety

This is from the series of podcasts Karl did with Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant. Karl is prompted to invent his own laws for society, and his first port of call is helmet safety. There ends up being a role play, where Ricky plays two children asking President Pilkington why he didn’t make their late father wear a crash helmet.

Karl deals with the ‘children’ completely no nonsense, as you would expect. Turn down your volume on this one, Ricky cracks up a few times and his manic cackle might just burst your eardrum.

Charity

Have you ever heard anyone get so angry about charity before this? I didn’t even know there was enough to moan about when it came to these organisations, but The K Man manages it. There are holes in his plan to end poverty, as Ricky and Steve point out, but as he says, he will “sort it out”.

It’s this very attitude that we need in modern day society. An entire political manifesto could just be reduced to a single phrase: “Don’t worry, we’ll sort it out”.

On parties

He starts by declaring his hatred for parties and organised fun, then goes on to prove how “life is better when you don’t plan things” by getting a free chicken out of Ricky, and then finishes by contemplating an alternate life where he has broken up with Suzan and suddenly become gay.

I don’t know about you, but by the end of the video, I’d forgotten what his original point was, and so I had no choice but to agree with whatever it was that he said. All I know is, I would love to sit down with Karl, have a pint, and just ask him ‘Would You Rather?’ questions all day. You basically can’t win at ‘Would You Rather?’, but I bet Karl would.

One chance

This must be one of the funniest and most practical ways to deal with a cheeky employee. Or rather, an employee that is snowed in at home. Karl is asked to role play the boss of a plumbing company and to deal with the issues his employees are facing with getting in to work.

In his words, they only get “one chance”, but Steve is nice enough to point out that Karl doesn’t even give them that “one chance”. God forbid Karl should ever manage to gain CEO status, but it would be hilarious.

Gran Canaria

For those who don’t know, Ricky and Steve got Karl to write a diary recording his various adventures. One of these adventures was a holiday to Gran Canaria. Some of his thoughts include: whether people think in their accents, why people with wheelchairs go to volcanic islands, and unhealthy people on games consoles.

His day-to-day thoughts are so bizarre and in depth, that they could be chapters of a novel. I would whole-heartedly read a book based on Karl Pilkington’s life. But of course, it wouldn’t be too complicated, because complicated things are rubbish.

Moaning about moaning

Apparently on a particularly happy day for Karl, he moans about people who moan about things that he feels aren’t worth moaning about, especially when there is so much out there to moan about. Oh, and Ricky inevitably turns it into a situation where Karl is faced with a topless fireman.

Much like everything Karl says, I feel like there is a point to what he is saying, even if I can’t quite understand all the time. Plus, bonus feature, if you watch till the end you’ll get a square view of his famous ‘perfectly round head’.