Leeds is a wonderful place, hell, it’s the finest place.
Full to the brim with awesome bars, restaurants, gig venues and shops, there are plenty of reasons we love it so, but let’s face it, it’s not all sweetness and light.
Take a look through just 19 of the real Leeds struggles we grapple with every week.
1. The train ticket lottery
Credit: Wiki / CC
Gone are the days of cheeky free train rides in and out of the city. Those barriers are like Fort Knox, and no Loiner will pass without a valid ticket. This is fair enough of course, but running late, having paid an extortionate fee and dashing through the station like a Brownlee brother, the least you expect is for the barrier to work. Not so. The chances are 70/30 at best, and that queue is getting longer…
2. When you go out midweek without ID
Look, bouncers of Leeds, we get it. It’s a very student-orientated city, and for the most part, midweek sessions belong to undergraduates and six formers. But mate, I’m 27, and no, I haven’t got my passport on me. Let me in.
3. The soap star selfie struggle
— luke goodson (@luke_goodson16) September 11, 2013
Scientists estimate that on a Saturday in Leeds, you are never further than seven metres from an Emmerdale cast member. You want a selfie, but you’ve no idea of their real name. There’s no time to Google, damnit, as panic sets in.. “Ere, Paddy, can I have a picture?”
4. When your wheelbarrow gets a parking fine
— Amii (@amii0484) May 30, 2015
5. The end of night taxi scramble
It’s 3am, you’ve had a belter, your belly is full of dirty takeaway and your feet hurt. All you want now is your bed and a pint of water. For those living outside of the city centre, the scramble for a taxi is one of Leeds’ true nightmares. “You booked pal?” becomes a desperate, repetitive groan as you skip from cab to cab, and by the time you’re home, breakfast telly is on.
6. Deciphering ‘proper Yorkshire’
We’re all extremely proud of the Yorkshire accent. Throw in a few Leeds-isms in there, and you’re golden. The problem that from time to time you find yourself faced with someone so incredibly Yorkshire it hurts. Words of several syllables are crammed into one, and every now and then you’re faced with an expression you’re sure makes absolutely no sense. No wonder Southeners have so much trouble.
7. The Briggate busker guilt trip
Whilst other cities may claim to have a superior musical history, Leeds’ busker community is up there with any in the country. Briggate is the place to find the finest, and they’re worth every penny of the quid you throw in their hat. But every busker that catches your eye tips you the wink, and you’re running low on change. Best to just put your head down and run.
8. Weather roulette
Too many layers, sun comes out and melts me, not enough layers, it starts to hailstone #LeedsProblems
— Philippa △⃒⃘ (@philippahudson) October 15, 2013
Light coat? Umbrella? Shorts? It’s anyone’s guess. At least in Manchester they know it’s definitely going to rain.
9. Getting duped by another closing down party
Ah, the annual ‘Control closing down party’, or the ‘Last ever Halo’. Each time, we’re assured it really is for real this time, and that one of our dearly loved club nights will be ringing the bell one last time. Codswallop. They always re-open, and you’ll fall for it somewhere along the line again. The swines.
10. When the gig of the month is always midweek
Having a venue like the Brudenell on our doorstep is a blessing, don’t get me wrong, but why are the best gigs always on a chuffing Wednesday? You’ve two options – miss it, or deal with the hangover. Best stock up on paracetamol.
11. When there’s a rugby player loitering near your house
There's a hooker on my street corner …. #leedsproblems
— Sailor Hollie (@Holliexxxx) June 11, 2014
12. The date night scran dilemma
You’ve perused the cinema listings for half an hour, and you know where you’re heading for a quick drink. Then comes the impossible question: “Where do you want to eat?” Leeds, once short of restaurant options, is now full to the brim with eateries for a full spectrum of palettes and budgets.
13. When the nightlife is so good you’re prepared to go homeless
— Sophie Green (@sophiegreen191) March 1, 2014
14. The shopping mission
The advent of the Trinity Centre may give the impressions that it has brought Leeds’ shopping options together, but in reality, that quick dash round the shops has never been further apart. From there to Briggate, up to the Victoria Quarter and the forthcoming Victoria Shopping Centre, it’s a real struggle to get round.
15. When you can’t afford anything
You know it. It’s lovely to walk around the Victoria Quarter, but unless it’s pay day, you’re in struggle city.
16. The drinks destination dilemma
It used to be so simple. Call Lane. You zig-zagged your way down Call Lane and then scuttled off to a club. But now the bar crawl options are endless, and everyone is upping their game. Greek Street is on the comeback, the Northern Quarter is now the place to be and countless other spots are announcing themselves.
17. Trying to play ping pong drunk at Roxy
Just try to hit the one in the middle.
18. When you can’t keep up with the local fashionistas
dont know if ur in pyjamas or jst edgy? #leedsprobs
— Charly Bowen (@CharlyBowen01) October 3, 2013
19. And then there’s this…
can't cope that a old couple just been kicked out weatherspoons for havin sex in disabled toilet 3CM behind me at 12:30pm 😯 #leedsprobs
— jen (@jennyrockliff) September 27, 2013
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