Although it’s not 100% confirmed at this point, it may be time to start dreaming of fruit-filled crates once again – as there’s quite the collection of evidence to suggest that gaming icon Crash Bandicoot could be returning to our consoles any time now.
Sony tweeted a hint that the marvelous marsupial is their ‘most wanted’ right now, and they’re certainly not wrong.
Contain your nostalgia-fueled excitement for a moment, perhaps.
We too wish to be traversing through monster-infested levels as an exotic animal before long, but we’re tempering our expectations at the moment.
So calmly and collectively, let’s discuss some of the absolute musts for the comeback or reboot that is definitely-maybe coming.
1. More riding levels
We would never describe the regular Crash Bandicoot levels as “boring”, but let’s just say that when these lightening-paced riding-levels came up on the world map, it was a nice change of pace.
Whether it’s a polar bear, a small tiger, or a biplane (which we’re pretty sure neither Coco or Crash were qualified to fly) there was something about these levels that gave Crash even greater charm.
Just ease up on the underwater levels, though. We have no love of puffer fish.
The bosses in the Crash games are scary. Tiny’s beefed up to hell, Papu Papu looks like he wants to cook you in a pot, and Ripper Roo is… well, mental.
Pinstripe, though, goes round with a dodgy Italian-American gangster accent, and shoots at you with a Tommy Gun. And he’s all the better for it.
If you’re wanting to put your spin-battling skills to the test, who better to take on than a fellow marsupial with a machine gun?
3. Near-impossible gems
Any real gamer knows that the crystals were just the start in Crash Bandicoot, and the real proof of the pudding came when trying to collect the unusually unattainable and ultra useless gems.
Typically, these gems were located in a) extremely high air-spaces b) unplayable bonus levels, or c) the firey pits of Bandicoot hell itself.
The gems were the ultimate test of one’s platforming skill, so with any Bandicoot game, we say: bring on the impossible.
4. The explosion of N. Gin’s head
It’s all well and good when he’s trying to scare the fur off of Crash’s back, but in all seriousness, Dr. N. Gin, Neo Cortex’s second in command, has had that nuclear warhead stuck in his cranium for about 20 years now, and somebody needs to put the poor guy out of his misery.
Maybe this is the game that’ll finally relive him of his burden.
5. New smooth graphics
أكثر شخص مطلوب… أين أنت يا كراش؟ pic.twitter.com/aj85Ap018v
— PlayStation Mid East (@PlayStation_ME) February 6, 2016
If this recent tweet by PlayStation Middle East is anything to go buy, we can look forward to a new skin of gorgeous graphics for our auburn lab rat.
The blocky art style was endearing and all, but we think it’s about time to dress Crash for the modern times.
The tattoos might be a little too far though.
6. But the same old classic style
Don’t try and make it an open world game. Don’t try and add in a new ‘rescue the hostages’ mini-level. Don’t try and give Crash an upgrade menu on the side, with the currency being Wumpa fruit.
Don’t do any of that devs. Just keep the same delightful tone, and the side-scrolling bonus levels, and we’ll get along just fine with Crash Bandicoot: Reborn or Crash Bandicoot: Cortex’s Retirement or whatever the hell it ends up being called.