Edinburgers rejoice! All the rumours and speculation are over – the filming for Trainspotting 2 is officially under way.
News broke in the last few days that director Danny Boyle and the gang had made their way to Auld Reekie to begin filming the sequel to the 1996 cult classic.
Boyle even had time to stop and pose for a picture for the Humans of Edinburgh Facebook page – where he commented that Edinburgh had “changed dramatically” since his visits filming Trainspotting.
Naturally this got us thinking about how different the blackly comic film would have been had it been made this year instead of two decades prior, and what modern day Edinburgh would have looked like on screen.
Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a f***ing iPad.
Renton would get a tram up Princes Street
Why waste your breath racing down the high street when the next tram is due outside H&M in three minutes? Iggy Pop’s ‘Lust For Life’ would be blaring through his earphones from Spotify.
Spud’s interview would be with a digital start-up
You can definitely see the speed-fueled Spud telling Skyscanner “I’m a perfectionist. For me, it’s the best or nothing at all” when they ask about his coding.
He might even get the job.
Begbie’s ‘encounters’ would be concerning the Indy Ref
Not that Franco ever needed any more excuse than a bad game of pool or a partially spilled beer to get him in the mood for kicking someone’s head in – but to question the legitimacy of Scotland’s oil reserves? That’s fighting talk.
The ‘worst toilet in Scotland’ would be decided by TripAdvisor
Mark could even post his own two star review as he descended into the murky jobby-infested waters below.
Rentz and Sick Boy would be shooting air-rifles at students with Frisbees
Long gone are the days when you could spot a genuine skinhead lounging around the green spots of Edinburgh, the duo would have settled for athletic University of Edinburgh students careering around the Meadows instead.
The nightclub scene would now be on George Street
The two drinks that Diane knocks back would have cost a small mortgage, never mind the fact that her and Renton would have to wait 40 minutes in a taxi queue.
The ‘baby-on-the-ceiling’ scene would be a 3D iMax spectacular
We don’t know how we would deal with the prospect of the baby dropping from the ceiling and right into your lap.
Diane would say that nobody cares about Underworld anymore
“Underworld are not dead. They toured last year. Tommy went to see them.”
Tommy’s flat would be rented out on Airbnb for the Fringe
Never the mind the neglected cat, the stench and the fact a guy died in here – it’s two minute walk from Princes Street and a steal at £500 for a week.