Much to the dismay of animation fans everywhere, much-reviled cartoon movie Norm of the North is due to hit British cinemas this week – and that got us thinking about all the ‘so bad they’re good’ flicks we’ve been treated to over the years.
There’s a fair few on Netflix, would you believe. And while it’s nice to revel in the genuinely good stuff on the streaming site, it’s also fun to check out some of the most enjoyably awful.
So without further ado, treat yourself to the very worst of the current Netflix catalogue. Contradictory though it may be, you’re going to absolutely love them.
It’s no secret that the Poltergeist franchise went slightly skew-whiff after the first film, and we present exhibit A to this effect.
This movie could have been subtitled: Poltergeist 3: Random Things Coming out of Other Random Things, although, that may imply that you’d be in for a few jump scares while watching it. Trust us, you’re not.
Let’s Scare Jessica to Death
No prizes for guessing what this one’s about: but it also takes in mental patients, evil forces, and people who, in the movie’s own words, may or may not be vampires.
Jessica’s release from the asylum has never been as scary, or hilarious, for people who get to watch this film.
It’s some kind of weird, sexified imitation of Mad Max that’s earned a fair whack of appreciation among cult-film fans, and in that sense, it’s genius.
Starring such acting legends as Iggy Pop and Ice-T, this might be one post-apocalyptic romp too far, but you’ll never know unless you watch it.
Listen to this for a synopsis: the manager of a recycling plant, who refuses to replace his current robotic female companion with a newer, less attractive, model, traverses a post apocalyptic wasteland to find a suitable replacement to fit his lecherous needs.
You can’t make this stuff up.
Killer Klowns from Outer Space
With a budget of $2 million, we’d expect a little bit more on our return than a pack of play-doh-looking clowns randomly murdering teenagers, but maybe we just haven’t got the creative vision necessary to create such a masterpiece.
Don’t be fooled by the amazing special effects (that laser beam though), it really is as hilariously bad as the title suggests.
With more homo-erotic cliches than Arnold Schwarzenegger riding a fire-breathing horse into an on-rushing wave of provocatively dressed, mustached soldiers, Supernova really is the ultimate cheesy sci-fi movie.
Where the crew of a mission-bound medical ship learned all of those one-liners, we couldn’t tell you.
Sinbad of the Seven Seas
After the aforementioned Arnie gave us his fantastic rendition of Conan (“my cazans are out fighting dragans”), we thought we’d never see a more shockingly terrifying portrayal of a mythical shirtless warrior.
Enter Lou Ferrigno!
We dare you to watch this film. We literally dare you.
And if you manage to endure the hilariously bad death scenes without laughing yourself to a fatal end, and the exceptionally clunky dialogue that actually makes you root for the terribly animated snake-fish-things, if you endure all that, you’ll be a man my son.
Goal of the Dead
You probably think you’ve seen a zombie horror film set in every location you can think of, but have you seen one set in a football stadium?
No, of course you haven’t. In fact, Goal of the Dead takes place during a football match, when one of the players injects dodgy steroids into himself, unaware that he’s releasing a deadly virus.
And you thought your team had a terrible goalkeeper.
Galaxy of Terror
The “terror” should be in inverted commas, because the only thing ‘terrifying’ about this dodgy sci-fi/horror is the production design.
The movie comes complete with a giant foam worm desperate to gobble up any unsuspecting wanderers, a cast of truly irritating characters, and so many Wilhelm screams we lost count.
We don’t expect much more than an entertaining, fist-flying romp when it comes to Jason Statham movies, and Wild Card is all of that but more.
At one point, Statham, a hard-man body guard in this epic, actually slices open a guy’s skull with a credit card. The laws of physics, as well as Stathams IMDb rating, took a serious hit with this one. But when it’s all in slo-mo, who can complain?