Unless you’re lucky enough to live within walking distance of your work, it’s likely that you are a fully fledged member of the Glasgow Commuters Club*.
From the monotonous routine to the unbearable smells, there’s no denying the depressing realities of spending the top and tail end of your day taking part in the journey to and from work.
Here are 15 depressing realities of the Glasgow commute…
*This is not a real club, we made it up.
1. You now have your morning routine timed to the absolute second
Yep, life has become so mundane that you have your whole morning mapped out from you from the eighteen minute snooze window, to the exact latest second that you can leave the house without missing your bus/tube/train. Welcome to Groundhog Day.
2. Time is so tight that you have doing your make up on the subway down to a tee
Some lady was so preoccupied with badly drawing on her eyebrows that she almost missed her stop 😮 #trainmakeup
— Sarah ✿ (@Sarawwwrrr) September 23, 2015
You can do a LOT in the eight minutes from Hillhead to Buchanan Street. Less of the judgemental looks please.
3. You forget to hold on to your return subway ticket on a regular basis
Despite the monotony, you still manage to lose your subway ‘smart card’ for the journey home.
Must remember: It’s not like the train. The return comes in one ticket. At times like these, you wonder why you don’t just get one of those plastic travel cards.
4. Being that idiot who still doesn’t have a travel card…
Reminding yourself to sign up for the travel card, every day. And forgetting, every day. Despite the obvious benefits, you continue to put yourself through the ordeal of queuing for a ticket. Every. Day.
5. Having to get the bus. End of.
This is the most depressing thing of all. In your thirties and getting the bus to work every day. In a way, it’s like you’ve not even progressed since primary school. Great.
6. Not having the right change
How many unnecessary packets of crisps have you bought over the years, just to split a tenner for the right change. Not only does it smell, it’s making you fat. Nae luck if you’re stuck Southside.
7. The smell of the seats
Whether it’s the bus ( greasy chips and damp dog) or the subway (stale Tennents and sweat), it’s unavoidable. Good morning.
8. Witnessing nutritious train breakfasts
Packet of skips for your breakfast? Great choice madam. That will set you up for the day. #trainbreakfast
— Phil Addicott (@PhilAddicott) December 9, 2015
You will at some point end up next to someone who thinks it’s acceptable to eat their bacon roll on the bus.
Note: it isn’t.
9. The harsh reality of your life
Trudging up the stairs at Charing Cross/High Street/Queen Street Station (delete as appropriate) and realising you blend in perfectly with all the miserable looking, grey-suited workers. When did this happen to you?!
10. You are a slave to mother nature
Knowing that even the slightest bit of snow or unusually heavy rainfall will no doubt disrupt your journey and make you late for work. Again.
11. You are one of THOSE people
You say things like “But first, coffee” before you proceed to spend in the region of four quid for an overprice ‘artisan latte’. What does that even mean? Yuck.
12. When the Subway terminates at Govan
After you’ve had to wait a WHOLE 9 minutes for a Subway. Whyyyyy.
(Although if you end up in the carriage with the ass sign, it makes everything that bit more bearable)
13. Caving into getting a Burger King at Queen Street
This will happen at least once. We’ve all been there. Forget about it and move on.
14. Resisting the temptation of Blue Lagoon every night
Leave Central via the side door, it’s the only way to avoid the sickeningly tempting smell of pizza crunch.
15. Having to rely on Scotrail to get you from A to B
— Rich Whitfield (@richwhit21) February 18, 2016
Sigh. Maybe staying at home is the new commuting?
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