We’re a proud race, us Loiners. Strong int’ arm, strong int’ head.
But what are the telltale signs that someone is truly Leeds?
Take a stroll through a handful of the most brazen buzzers.
1. You’re constantly offending Southerners
Oh yes. Any Loiners’ first meeting with the lesser spotted Southerner is always a difficult experience, what with the language barrier and all those deep cultural differences. Whilst they tip toe around stereotypes and ask whether Leeds has any wine bars yet, you dive straight in and tell those ell-munching Tories how it is.
2. You know all the words to “Marching On Together”
.. we’re gunna see you WIN. Maybe one for the lads, this, but no drunken Saturday evening is complete without a slurred rendition of the Leeds United war cry. It’s proper Leeds.
3. You can drink
We’re born with it. Fact.
4. You’ve been to Eureka!
No Leeds childhood is complete without a school trip out to Eureka! in Halifax. Loiners have been known to rush into having children solely on the basis that they’ll be able to return quicker. Probably.
5. You’ve tried and failed to complete the Otley Run
Yes, we can booze, but we’re not superhuman! Who on God’s green can smash 16 pints in one night? Fair play to those that claim to have made it, but let’s be fair – it’s a whole lot of lager.
6. You know your pastry-based-products
Credit: Samson / Flickr / CC
Greggs is not a mere bakery in Leeds, it’s a way of life. Each and every Loiner knows exactly what they’re going to order, and in what order they’re going to consume it, in a way that leaves people from other areas of the country looking, frankly, a little ignorant.
7. You call people ‘love’, regardless of gender
It’s a term of endearment. If you’re blessed with this touch of Leeds warmth, feel honoured.
8. You’ve told someone you’re from ‘near Leeds’
“Whereabouts are you from?” “Near Leeds..” – the staple conversation when meeting anyone from outside our fine city. Whether it’s Headingley, Chapel Allerton, Ilkley or Crossflatts, you’re from near Leeds.
9. You like gravy
Credit: Cat / Flickr / CC
On everything but your cornflakes.
10. You’re a master at jumping ticket barriers
Credit: Wiki / CC
Has to be done at times. No man got time to queue for a train ticket at rush hour.
11. One of your mates knows Neville Longbottom
Or an Emmerdale cast member. Or Joe Root. That’s more or less how we do ‘slebs up these parts.
12. You know the Leeds salute
Another footy-based Loiner-ism – you can identify any self-respecting Leeds fan by giving them the Leeds salute. All Leeds aren’t we?
13. Your mates in Wakey and Bratfud are jealous of you
Just are. Leeds is ten times as sophisticated as any of it’s West Yorkshire rivals, and it’s our level of sophistication that proves it. They look up to us, it’s a fact.
14. You know that ‘thi sen’ is not a river in Paris
Leeds dialect is a rich and complex tapestry of lost ‘H’s and shortened words. “Look after thi sen”, for example, is not an instruction to guard a river in France.
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