Its a tough life out there for a millennial. The children of today think Kenan and Kel were ageing government ministers and that The Pigeon Detectives was a veterinary crime drama.
In fact, there are more things out there to make us feel old than there are to make us feel our mid-twenties selves, and it’s just not fair.
Take a depressingly real peek at a few of the Leeds-based things that do just that.
1. The Majestyk closed ten years ago
Credit – Wiki / CC
Oh yes, it’s a full decade since the club we all loved to love creaked its doors closed for the final time. The intervening years have been less than kind to the old boy, of course, what with fires and break-ins galore. When will someone take advantage of a space that much have so much potential?
2. It’s even longer since the dawn of ‘New Yorkshire’
It felt like we were going to take Manchester’s crown. Millenials will proudly remember our fine county, just for a moment, being the centre of the indie music universe. Our teenage years were set to the backdrop of a tidal wave of spunky, attitude-laden guitar music led by The Arctic Monkeys, The Kaiser Chiefs and The Cribs. Alas, that was 2005 and Little Man Tate presumably all work at Carphone Warehouse. Sigh.
3. Belle Dingle is Emmerdale’s new bad gal
Belle Dingle pregnant ? she's 12 #emmerdale
— keely (@keelyRH) July 7, 2016
Wasn’t she born like, a week ago?
4. The Northern Quarter
Seriously, have you been up there recently? When we were first rooting around the city centre, all that there was up there was a strip club and a pokey snooker club. Now it’s a veritable hub of culture and nightlife, and whilst Leeds is ten times better for it, it’s all enough to make you wonder how quickly they managed to sort all that out whilst we were busy getting jobs and stuff.
5. There have been 19 Leeds United managers since David O’Leary
That includes the odd caretaker of course, but still! For many, the early noughties provided Leeds sports fans with their finest memories, and David O’Leary’s team of young, hungry, attacking players remains one of the most exciting squads in the history of British football. We all know what happened next, however, and the club is a completely different place in 2016. The way things are going, don’t expect that number to stall anytime soon.
6. Oceana is now called Pryzm
Yes, you probably knew that already, and whilst the name has changed, not much else has. It’s still a pretty questionable evening out.
7. October nights out in Headingley
For the first few weeks of university, freshers are basically fresh-faced onesies for society elders to fill with jagermeister. Any trip out to Headingley or Hyde Park during the first few weeks of term is guaranteed to make you feel as old as the hills, as folk who look younger than your underpants throw up in a nearby toilet.
8. It’s over a decade since Richard Whiteley passed away
Credit – Wiki / CC
Quite rightly, our county fell into mourning when one of our favourite sons died. It all seems like yesterday, which makes it unbelievable that the Countdown legend passed away in June 2005.
9. It’s nearly that since The Corn Exchange closed and reopened
Competition time! We're so excited to see the Leeds Corn Exchange made out of CAKE in collaboration with @leedsgallery @leedsindiefood, and we want to give you the chance to join us at the VIP launch of City of Cake on Friday 13th May! Head to our Facebook page for competition details: https://www.facebook.com/leedscornexchange/ 🍰🍰🍰 @tattooedbakers #leeds #leedsindiefood #cake #foodstagram
Remember the furore around the abrupt closure of every Millennial’s go-to teen hangout spot? Zurich Financial Services bought the shopping haven from the traders in November 2007, threatening to turn it into an enormous food emporium. It ultimately failed, and reopened as a boutique shopping centre a year on.
10. Fat Friends ended 11 years ago
The programme that threw together James Corden and Ruth Jones for the very first time was filmed in and around Headingley of all places, and provided Loiners with their very own landmark-spotting slot on ITV. The fact that it was killed off over a decade ago is beggars belief.
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Main image courtesy of Wiki / CC